It does not matter if you are an introverted or extroverted. You must have the ability to handle social situations. It is natural to feel bad at small talks, nervous in job interviews or just generally awkward. Forget about your shortcomings and goals and try to focus on your strengths. We are here to boost up your skills this fall.
Do not be Awkward
If you are a little awkward in certain situation, it is okay! After all it is us who decide to or to not feel awkward. It actually rounds up with an easy solution to the problem. All you need to do is to let go.
You will never be able to overcome awkwardness if you do not step out of your comfort zone. This will not only help you feel more comfortable with a variety of situations, but also will reduce overall stress level. The more you learn to handle things you don’t usually like, the more you teach yourself that you can survive them. Remember this mantra that you can only find that comfort if you make yourself uncomfortable once in a while.
Why don’t you consider doing a few weird things you normally wouldn’t do this weekend? This way you will be able to confront social fear. Yes, I understand that you do not want to push yourself too hard right away, but the more you move away from the things that make you comfortable the more you’ll find that you can get comfortable with anything
Negotiate Better
Negotiations are no different from gambling. But you can improve your odds greatly with the right approaches. All you need to do is to let go off any aggressive tendencies and stop trying to intimidate people. Do not go by what television shows about the notion that this sort of thing works, but in reality it pisses people more. Fear can motivate some people to act but when you want something you don’t really want to take the risk. Right? Make friends and not enemies.
Next is try to work on your listening skills. Active listening can improve your negotiation abilities. Put yourself in shoe of the other person for a while. If you were talking and the other party interrupted you or appeared to stop listening, it is obvious that you will be less likely to give them what they want. Listening makes a big difference in the society.
Plan quite well in advance. Jot down a few objectives as to what you want to accomplish at the negotiation. This sort of planning will help you stick to the points and not deviate away from your needs. Negotiations is sure to make you compromise but make sure that you don’t give up anything that matters to you the most.
Win a Job Interview
Job interviews make people nervous as interviewers often ask tough and intimidating questions. Relax! You do not have to melt on the floor the moment you get there or shiver in front of the entire time. You can navigate your way through a job interview comfortably by practicing the right body language and prepping yourself in advance.
Learn about all the negative body language so that you avoid them all the time during the interview. Try to avoid extremes like sitting too rigid or too relaxed. You might also not want to fidget or touch your face too often. Try to appear as natural and relaxed as you can. It will take you to a comfort zone. If you can not be comfortable and confident, it is okay to pretend. Do not worry if you are not being able to make these changes right away. Practices will make you stronger.
The idiom “practice makes perfect” applies to many other aspects of wining a job interview. Make sure you arrive on time by taking a test drive. The first impression you may give is by your smile and also practice walking into a room with confidence. Try to prepare answers to questions in advance. It is not possible to prepare everything in advance but still, think of a few versatile stories you can tell in several situations. The more stories you can tell and the more you can engage the listener, the better are your chances of nailing the interview.
Prepare a few questions of your own. Even if you don’t really want to know anything, it helps to appear inquisitive and request information. That makes you seem interested in the job and employers want that kind of worker. If they end up answering the questions you prepared, start small talks like how they like working for the company and so on. Though you will not get a truthful answer, it will allow your interviewer to connect with you on a personal level.
Handle Conflict like A Professional
Conflicts are not of anyone’s favorite things. But life will tend to become excessively frustrating if we never embrace conflict or learn how to deal with it. Do not walk away from tougher moments. Try to face them head-on and with a calm demeanor.
Here is a tip: Whenever you engage in an argument and want to have a calm discussion, employ the Socratic method by asking questions. When someone says something provocative like “you did a lazy job on that report”, don’t disagree with them. Instead, ask them why they feel that way. Inquire how they could have done it better. If you feel inclined to provide an excuse, form a question out of it. It works every time. Stay calm all the time and do not stop asking. Sometimes you will have to make statements to avoid sounding weird. But the more questions you put, you push the person more to think harder.
It is human psychology that you can encourage a person to think before they speak with questions but you can’t compel them to do much else. You can change the way you approach a conflict so that you do not worsen it any further. Try to recognize the emotional level of the situation. Although it seems counter-intuitive, venting frustration actually makes matters worse. Approach with a calm and productive talk to handle situations better.
Kick start with your emotions and then gradually work your way to the originating problem. Keep yourself calm and give the other person a chance to explain. This will help you come to a conclusion faster. Once you feel a little bit better, use that calmness to approach the problem with a level head. Work on the art of being able to keep your emotions in control. This way you will be expert in handling conflicts like a professional.
Rome was not built in a day and so you can’t become an expert over night too. Give it some time and start practicing. I am sure you will be able to boost your social IQ in no time. All the best!
Akshay Agarwal
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